Got a toothbrush?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
