Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
