wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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