you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
