whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
