Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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