Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
