just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
