I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
