Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
