I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
