Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize