I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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