just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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