she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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