bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
