Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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