Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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