How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Quick, to the slutcave!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
