giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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