We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
