The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
