i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
