Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
