he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
