she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
