thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
