wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
