you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
