too bad you live with your parents still
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
