the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just had sex on a roof
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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