I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she was so not down for the gang bang
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
