How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
