I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
