idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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