i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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