my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize