did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
