Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
