I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
