Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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