i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
