I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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