and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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