You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
