I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
