That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
vagina is talking i cant
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
