She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
