found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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