We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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