I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
