fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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