yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize