I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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