if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
