I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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