I'm so fucking centered right now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
