did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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