we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
