He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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