I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
