I am puke
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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