I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
